Stockings Versus Tights: A Question of Practicalities

This is my entry for this (sort of ) week's caption competition. All the entries for the weekly CCGB battle may be seen here. The theme was Bank Robbers and I came second!
I think, personally, my attempts to loosen up may be a bit too loose low tech.
Too loose low tech. Toulouse Lautrec. Keep up!
But still, second place!
My head is currently so big that it can only be housed in one of those hangars at Cardington.