Dinosaurs in High Dudgeon

Would you Adam and Eve it (heh heh)? This is my entry for the Cartoonists' Club of Great Britain's Weekly caption competition. Now then, on first perusing the caption Adam and Eve immediately popped into my aged and befuddled brain and it was Eve talking to Adam with that serpentine satan looking evil yet cool in the background. Not funny, just weird and vaguely disturbing. Then I thought, what if the first humings weren't even God's first choice? Hmmm, getting there. Who or what would have been His first choice? Big lizards! Pissed off looking big lizards with their arms folded. Well, it works for me.
A couple of sort of technical points ought to be laid out here. First up; God's right hand. As I drew it, it really worked. I think it is the best hand that I have ever drawn in my life. Now compare it to his left. Arrrgh! My only excuse is that I have always found that left hands are sinister. Ahem, yes - well, moving on. Adam and Eve's hands look ridiculous in comparison to God's. There is a very good reason for this. I am a bit thick. When I draw cartoons on the graphics pad for the competition I size it at 72dpi. When I zoom in to work on fine details everything turns into a Cubist experiment and I get a bit lost. There is undoubtedly a solution to combat this. I just haven't found it yet.
Onwards and , er, onwards.

It's Ella Fitzgerald, Dammit!

Okay, pay attention. This is going to take a lot of explanation. The cartoon competition was on a theme of America. The gentlemen in hats are 17th century Dutch settlers. The gentlemen in feathers are not. The lady on the right is Ella Fitzgerald. The caption is a line from Rodger and Hart's song, Manhattan. The Dutch settlers are buying Manhattan from the owners for a few trinkets. Ummm. That's it.
Procrastination is the thief of humour. Ella was a last minute insertion in order to indicate that the caption is a song lyric. It just doesn't work does it? Shame really, because somewhere, deep within the enfolding obfuscation, is the vague crumb of a good idea. Well, there is in my head, anyway (a confusing place at the best of times).
Not the best drawn effort on my part. Too much last minute rushing. What about the pencils? What indeed? To be honest, they aren't much better, but at least they don't include a badly drawn Ella Fitzgerald. Sorry, Ella. You deserve better than that. By way of recompense here are Ella and Louis singing Stars Fell on Alabama. It's the very least I could do.

A Rather Cavalier Attitude

I had completely forgotten about this one! It was just a quick sketch on the ole graphics pad, hence the VERY loose appearance of the drawing. I have been trying to loosen up my drawing style for some time now, but this is probably just a little too loose (as in Lautrec. Geddit? Too loose Lautrec. oh, suit yourselves!). Still, I like the facial expressions and, believe it or not, I remember doing some costume research for this. All for nothing and nothing for one! Did I get it right, Monsieur Dumas?

Trombone Envy

I had two of my heroes in mind when I created this little opus; Ronald Searle and Gerard Hoffnung. The Searle influence is the uncompromising use of black and expecting the viewer to know exactly where the limbs are. I also used a Searlian angle on the elbow. It is pretty much the angle Searle used on noses, elbows, legs ooh, all sorts. I did lose my nerve when it came to the legs, though, where I used some discreet white just to let you know where the legs are and what they are doing.
The Hoffnung influence is more obvious; musicians and their instruments. My introduction to Hoffnung was courtesy of the BBC showing Halas and Batchelor animations inspired by his drawings. The sequence that most readily springs to mind is that of a choirboy singing O For the Wings of a Dove. He sprouts the wings of a dove and takes off. The Cartoon Museum's Millennium exhibition had a delightful Hoffnung of a lady playing a trombone with    an extension. The cartoon was in a wooden frame and the frame itself was extended to accommodate the trombone arm. The entire item was a joy to behold.
 I think Hoffnung was more subtly influential than people realise. There is even an obscure reference to him in Annie Proulx's Accordion Crimes wherein she mentions a concert involving a duet for two vacuum cleaners. Guess who organised that little entertainment?

Read All Abaht It!

This, ladies and gentle pongs, is part of the logo heading for my super-duper new website which is all rather spiffing and topping and is part of the road to supplementing the income of this international playboy millionaire cartoonist.
Do take a look and tell me what you think. Favourable responses only, please. Do I have to remind you that I have a considerable amount of house-bricks and I know where your windows are?

Well, It Seemed a Good Idea At The Time...

Bit of an oddity, this one. The competition theme was Crime scene and the first thing that came into my head was Sherlock Holmes. The next thing was The Hound Of The Baskervilles. I first read the story when I were nobbut a sprawgler to a skrangdingler. In other words, I was far too young really, as the book genuinely frightened me. Well, the first part did. Dr. Mortimer's recounting of the legend had the hell-hound standing over evil Hugo Baskerville plucking at his throat. That particular phrase froze me to the marrow.
The British Isles are replete with spectral hounds. I always thought the nearest one to me, but still at a safe distance, was Norfolk's Black Shuck. I have subsequently discovered that my home town of Stevenage is also host to a spectral black dog with glowing coals for eyes. So, that's me indoors for the rest of my life then.
Nevertheless, to return to my cartoon. I had a few technical glitches going on that suddenly reduced the opacity of my drawing. I had to hurriedly re-draw it, hence its rather raggedy appearance. But, and this will come as no surprise to you, gentle reader, I agonized for ages over la mot juste. Knowing that I was going to paraphrase Dr. Mortimer's dramatic statement at the end of chapter two, I dithered between choosing gerbil or jerboa. The phonic alliteration was the same, but in the end I opted for the letter G.
How many points? Points don't matter, I care only for my art. Points are a triviality. Points make a mockery of finer aesthetic feeling. Points only matter if... I didn't get any.

Meanwhile, Back at Universal Studios...

Well, what do you think? Fairly well balanced in compositional terms. Perspective is pretty well sorted out. Nice, minimal use of colour accentuated by grey tones. Amusing imagery. Hacked off looking Boris Karloff derivative. All boxes being ticked. Yup. Pretty pleased with this effort.
So, how many points did I get in this week's caption competition ? Nada, Nuffink, Llaggeryb.
Let me state this for the record. I do know where everybody lives. I do own bricks. I love the sound of breaking glass.
Never mind, it's only a bit of fun. Yes, it's only a sodding bit of bleeding fun. A bit of heart-breaking, soul-destroying, ego-corroding FUN. Fun ha ha ha! Do you hear me? FUN! HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Well, I shall not be entering this week. Not out of a sense of misplaced pique. Even I am not that childish. No, I just will not have time. I have a lot to do in preparation for something of which I am very excited about. In fact I am hugging myself about it now. When the time is ripe I shall reveal all. It's no big secret, but I want to get it right from the start. So, lots of preparation needed, hence no competition entry. See? No hissy fitting.